Shame and the Girl with the Yellow Meal Ticket


Shame_unsplash_VolkanOlmezImage by Volkan Olmez

Shortly after publishing the post Stop Comparing Your Stock Room to Others’ Window Displays, I came to the realization that I have only been showing you my window displays ~ the methods, mindsets, tips and tricks that I have found to be so helpful in my journey as a business owner. But I have {unintentionally} been hiding from you all the gut-wrenching, self-doubting, limiting-belief-driven experiences that led to those discoveries. Well, buckle up, because it’s about to get real as I pull back the curtain on my stock room and share with you one of those experiences that happened just last week. . . .

This has been a year of massive transition in my life and with my family. Among other things, my son and first-born child moved across the country to attend college and begin his own independent life. And, my mother and sister who have lived with me for the past several years recently moved in with another one of my sisters.

All of this transition has led to the decision to sell my house and down-size. As part of this process, I had been purging clutter like nobody’s business. {The folks at the local Goodwill know us by name now.}

After all the people were moved and the clutter was purged, the next step was to organize the house so it would show well in photographs and to potential buyers. This posed a challenge, especially in the bonus room/bedroom that now contained only a piano and a sleeper sofa with a broken leg.

One day last week, I spent the morning with my realtor touring other houses for sale in our area that were similar in size and features so that we could get a feel for the appropriate listing price.

What an eye-opening experience! All of these houses looked like model homes in a showcase neighborhood ~ gorgeous furniture, stunning decor, gleaming appliances and surfaces that would pass a white-glove test prior to a visit from the queen.

All I could think about was my home that at the time housed dust bunnies that had spawned colonies of baby dust bunnies, half-empty rooms with mismatched furniture, and appliances and surfaces that were in need of some 409 and elbow grease. Ugh!

That evening, it was time to tackle the bonus room. We spent two hours trying to arrange, rearrange, and re-rearrange that room with some odds and ends of furniture, but nothing was working.

That was when I lost it. Something came over me and I became very irritable, grumbling, griping, and yelling something like, “This is pathetic! We are like the Clampetts in The Beverly Hillbillies! You can’t rearrange Early-Attic crap and make it look good ~ it’s still just a bunch of mismatched crap!”

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Are you Delegating or Suffocating?

sun and trees

sun and treesImage by Zwaddi

“If I want something done right, I’ll have to do it myself.”

“It will be faster and easier for me to just do {insert task} than it would be to teach someone else how to do it.”

“I can’t afford to hire staff or delegate.”

“Nobody will ever be able to do this the way that I want it done.”

As business owners, we often feel like we need to do it all. To be effective business managers, we need to overcome our weaknesses, be good at every aspect of our operation, and have a hand in everything, right?

If you saw a bit of you in these statements, then you are in all likelihood driving yourself into the ground and getting in the way of your own success.

Here’s the thing: you do not need to do, nor be good at, everything in your business. So stop trying! Realize that you are never going to be exceptional at everything in your business and that’s okay.

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Stop Comparing Your Stock Room to Others’ Window Displays

Pink Olive Window Display

Pink Olive Window DisplayImage by Pink Olive

We all do it.

We notice another business that captures our attention and we often view it with great admiration {and yes, a touch of envy}.

We look at Pinterest boards filled with drop-dead gorgeous images of their work, Facebook pages peppered with witty blurbs about their latest promotions, and Instagram pics of window displays beautifully merchandised with carefully curated selections and inspiring props.

We look at this impeccable face of the business ~ the culmination of their creative genius and talents ~ the face that they have carefully arranged for the public, often with the help of experts and photo filters.

And what do we do?

We look around at our stockroom ~ the one that looks like it was just leveled by a tornado in the aftermath of a rush project we just got out the door ~ and we compare that to the flawless public face of this other business.

Somehow we completely overlook the fact that we also have a beautiful window display that gleams and glimmers in the glow of the evening lights, that we have loyal fans and followers on social media who love everything we do, and that the stock room {aka disaster zone} is where we make magic happen.

And making magic can be messy at times.

Just ask the owner of the business you’re admiring . . . .

So let’s make a pact. What do ya say we stop comparing our insides to other people’s outsides. . . ?

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How Do I Get Another Person to Change?


pelican_unsplashImage by Yair Hazout

I am asked this question a lot.

It usually goes something like this: “I have really been focusing on shifting my perspective and thinking more abundant thoughts. I’ve even declared my business to be a Complaint-Free Zone. But I am surrounded by people who are operating from a negative, lack-based mentality. So how do I get them to change?”

My short answer: “You don’t.”

Here’s my longer answer and why you may as well stop wasting energy trying. . . .

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Believe in Abundance. Stop Clinging to Clutter.

river through forest

river through forestImage by Wolfgang Moritzer

“You don’t get what you wish for; you get what you believe.”

You may be wishing for abundance ~ an abundance of success, wealth, joy, happiness, and freedom ~ but wishing will not make it so.

Your life is an outward expression of your inner beliefs.

So, are you wishing for your abundance . . . or are you believing in your abundance?

Look around you to see what you believe.

Are you clinging to clutter?

If so, this is a sign that you have some lack-based beliefs.

{We all do. It’s deeply rooted in our environment, our culture, and our amazing experience as humans on Earth at this time.}

Know that Acquisition and Accumulation are not the same as Abundance.

Abundance stems from the belief ~ the deep knowing at a cellular level ~ that you will always have more than enough of what you need.

So why are you hanging onto stuff that you don’t love or that you don’t currently use on a regular basis?

Here are four of the most typical reasons for clinging to clutter:

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